FeedsMy entire office just shuddered - either something has just exploded or we’ve had an earthquake…
UPDATE - something belonging to BT exploded underground. It managed to blow one of those rectangular manhole covers out of the ground as well as rock nearby offices…
UPDATE - my office is being shut for the afternoon because half the building has no power, and we’ve got no running water. Most of us are off to the pub…
As practiced by someone who obviously knows a lot more than I do…
(paraphrased)
This is a security announcement. For security reasons, flash photography is forbidden on the station. If you wish to take photographs, you may do so with flash turned off.
Wonders who/what/why/how brought inspired that announcement
Is it weird that 4 number 390 buses drove past me within half a minute on my way home tonight? That’s 4 all heading in the same direction, and all 4 with passengers…
Was about to get on Metropolitan line train from Liverpool Street this morning when I saw the car had a pigeon in it. Took me a moment to understand that I really was seeing a pigeon inside the tube.
I hate pigeons (especially ones that are liable to start getting confused when they can’t find their way out of a moving train), so I moved down the platform and got into the next car.
Weird.
Well - like this…
WTF is up with that last one?
Apparently it’s part the painful realities of hyena sex. Full article here. I’d like to thank fark.com for that little gem and making me do a double-take when I read that headline this morning.
A German man has taken legal action against the Easter Bunny for grievous bodily harm.
Karl-Friedrich Lentze, from Berlin, has filed a complaint with prosecutors, accusing it of causing addiction to chocolate which leads to heart attacks, obesity and strokes.
Lentze said: “The Easter Bunny is a sadistic and unscrupulous offender who preys on people’s sweet tooth.
“Find this evil bunny, handcuff his paws and remove him from shops in time for Easter.”
Public prosecutor spokesman Christian Avenarius said: “We will act upon the complaint with speed and diligence.”
So I got to work today, and started talking to Sindy who was shortly coming off an overnight shift. She’s a fairly good looking, slim+athletic girl who I know at least one fellow staff member fancies. She’s also fancied by a few of our ‘regulars’, one of whom gave her a gift last night.
Not drunken abuse
Not a box of chocolates.
Not flowers
…
but a pink vibrator.
I think that it’s kind of a weird gift to give to a complete stranger, but what do I know.
She also mentioned that she’d tested it - and it actually worked. Then she showed me. No, not like that…
From The Times Online via fark.com
By Helen Nugent
A PUB must pay a fine for a murder on its premises more than 300 years ago.
Auditors discovered the long-forgotten penalty for The Swan in Ipswich, Suffolk, while balancing the books for the town’s St Mary Le Tower Church Charities.
The annual bill of 40 shillings, equivalent to £2, seems to be a punishment for a killing in 1664 when Charles II was king.
Rowell Bell is the clerk to trustees for a number of small charities, including Parker Gift 1664. He found the fine in a book called An Account of the Gifts and Legacies that have been given and bequeathed to Charitable Uses in the Town of Ipswich — with some account of the present state and management and some proposals for the future regulation of them.
It reads: “Mr J Parker to give 40 shillings a year to be paid out of The Swan Inn of this parish to buy coals for the poor (to be distributed on St Thomas’s Day).
“The gift is alleged to be for a perpetual fine imposed in 1664 consequent upon a murder committed at The Swan.”
It was a huge amount of money in 1664 — a labourer would have to work for six months to earn 40 shillings.
Mr Bell said: “The money should be given to the trustees and although they won’t still be buying coal, they will use their common sense. I expect, for example, they will pay for poor people to have bed and breakfast or give it to charities which help the homeless.
“I think some people will be confused because The Swan has 1707 on it, and this dates back to 1664. But 1707 is probably the date refurbishment work was done.”
Simon Trenter and Pam Wilson, who run The Swan, have agreed to pay the fine, which includes backdated payments to 1999, when the bill was last paid. Ms Wilson said: “We are all intrigued. We like being part of history.” Little is known about the murder although it is mentioned by guides who conduct tours of Ipswich.
Shortly before Xmas I received a copy of Maxim. Having now got round to opening it up, I find that it’s the Feb 2006 issue. December I get. January would also be understandable, since that’s the main month the issue will actually be on sale.
Febuary?
As compiled by disasters expert
Professor Bill McGuire of the Benfield Hazard Research Centre for Channel 4 News
- Gulf stream collapse - probable.
- Flu pandemic - certain.
- South east flood defence failure - possible.
- Sea-level rise - probable.
- Major Thames Valley windstorm - probable.
- Strategic earthquake - probable.
- Climate-perturbing volcanic eruption - certain.
- South coast tsunami - possible.
- Sellafield explosion and fall-out - possible.
- Terrorist detonation of 1kt nuclear device in London - possible.
A south coast tsunami? 2 nuclear disasters? Major flooding of London? Someone’s after some publicity methinks…
So - do you enjoy porn, or do you think that it’s bad?
How many of these images look pornographic to you?
Having solved all the world’s problems, the EU have turned their attention on the important issue of how to spell the name of Jesus Christ.
It must be getting a little too close for Christmas for the chi-chi crystal palace of the pretentious European Union. Pooh-bahs in Brussels have come up with a new grammar rule for themselves and the Netherlands–making it official that the name “Christ” will soon be written with a lower-case “c”. That was the stipulation in an orthography reform published earlier this month in Brussels.
According to the Kath.net agency, the new spelling legislation will also stipulate that the Dutch word for “jews” (joden) be spelled with a capital “J” when referring to nationality and with a lower-case “j” when referring to the religion. The changes will be mandatory in August of 2006. There is no description of the fines offenders will face if they keep right on spelling “Christ” with a capital “C”.
<sarcasm>Keep up the good work!</sarcasm>
LONDON (Reuters) - How many men does it take to change a light bulb in a church?
Thanks to the
European Union’s “Working at Heights Directive” the answer is four — over three days at a cost of more than 1,300 pounds.Preaching at St Benet’s Church in Beccles, Suffolk in gathering gloom, Father Anthony Sutch had to call in electricians to change light bulbs that are 40 feet above the congregation.
Because safety regulations deemed the church ceiling too high for a ladder, scaffolding had to be erected for a lengthy and costly replacement operation.
The BCG vaccine offers more protection against tuberculosis than experts currently appreciate, say scientists.
A UK study suggests that BCG protects some people in a way previously unknown - by stopping them catching the infection in the first place.
Experts had thought it merely worked by preventing TB infection turning into an active disease.
I hope these aren’t the same ‘experts’, who will be in charge of developing a vaccine/treatment for the avian flu. And what the hell is in the BCG, if doesn’t follow the same principals as other innoculations (inject with a weak strain, so body can learn how to fight a strong one)??
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter.
Over the years I’ve seen many pictures of Barbie dolls played with in ways never imagined by Mattel. One-armed Barbie. Barbie and Ken making babies. Lesbian Barbie. Bondage Barbie. Today I’ve seen something which I don’t think can be topped — Menstruating Barbie.
Why would you
a) Decide that Barbie needed this bodily function?
b) Carry out the neccessary modification?
c) Photograph your work?
d) Post the pictures to the Internet?
(If you know the answers, I’d rather not be told)
